Brother

“Brother”… not my name, just a way to address me in the spirit of one-ness.  I share with you my own personal journey and experience; years of pain, suffering, happiness, bliss and ultimately, freedom.  I am not concerned with principles and doctrines, should and should nots. I share only what I have personally experienced as my deepest prayer is that I live as an example that guides you to find your way to your own truth, your own light, your own divinity.

Journey

The Fasting Path is a result of decades of my own personal search for peace, happiness, freedom and truth.  In the past, this search came from a place of survival. Just trying to figure out how to enjoy being alive. For most of my life, being here on Earth was just never that easy or interesting. As a child I can remember thinking, “but that doesn’t make sense”, “why are we here”, “what are all these people doing”…  But due to religion, schooling and my loving parents (with all of their best intentions), I was eventually taught not to ask those questions and to simply accept the beliefs, thoughts and ideas they were handing me. It took awhile, but eventually I broke; giving in to the ways of society. It was around 12 years old that I remember completely giving up, stopped listening to what felt true for me and instead became a “good little boy.”

Of course, from this point on, my parents and teachers were happy… finally, I was being “good” and fitting in!  However for me, It was like a death. I felt lifeless and had lost all connection with that little voice within.  That inner voice that tries its best to perfectly guide each and every one of us.  By the time college rolled around, I was on board with “fitting in” 100%!  Get out of high school, got to college, get a degree, get a good job, get married, have children a dog, a cat and live happily ever after… “The American Dream” as it was once called.

But then it started.  I wanted to fit in so much, I really did. The only problem was that everything that I had been trying so hard to suppress over the years, was fighting to come out. Living in the world, I felt I had to keep pushing it away, stuffing it down, to remain a functioning part of society.  At some point however, the pressure (depression) became unbearable for me. On the outside, I had this charmed life; MBA graduate, money (or at least plenty of credit), good looks and physical health, a new home, motorcycles, wave runners, brand new sports cars, loving family and friends… but on the inside I was empty!  Somewhere along the way, my life stopped being about living and instead became about survival.

In the midst of several suicide attempts, I continued to search for answers. I could not figure out why, as smart as I was, I could not solvethis crazy riddle of life. Feelings of deep sadness for no apparent reason, worthlessness, meaninglessness… an empty vacuum that was my experience of life. One medical doctor and psychiatrist after another simply told me that being “bipolar” or “medically depressed” meant that I had a chemical imbalance in my brain; that there was nothing to be ashamed of by taking anti-depressants.  So, I would go on them for a short period of time, feel a bit better (more numb to the feelings), but always feeling that it was only masking the problem… and that was not acceptable to me. I wanted to find the cause of the problem, not just keep covering it up. I knew deep down that there had to be a “bigger” reason. A deeper meaning to all of this… and I was willing to die, if that was the result, in order to be with “what was” and find the cause.”

Awakening

I was raised in a Catholic family, went to Catholic school and went to church on the my request of my parents, most Sundays.  Never really resonating with church, at the age of 18, I left home for university, and also left the whole religion/God thing behind.  From 18 till 29, I had no real sense of God or spirituality in my life.  Then in June of 2000, with the use of a simple meditation CD, I had what many describe as a Satori experience or instant awakening. This profound moment was the catalyst for the radical transformation that would occur in my life. 

Before that evening, I had never meditated before and yet after one hour of “ommm-ing” and “ahhh-ing”, I opened my eyes to see colors and to hear sounds that I had never seen or heard before. I went outside, looked around and realized that I was not longer a separate drop of water in the ocean, but the ocean itself. Forms ceased to exist; only shifting and vibrating colors.  Universal truths made themselves known to me, meditations felt like download sessions with instant access to anything and everything.  My mind became so clear, I could literally see peoples thoughts, so physically sensitive that I could feel the vibration and toxins in everything I put into my body and a sense of peace that I had never felt before, fell upon me.  

I was not quite sure what had happened, but all I knew is that I felt alive for the first time in my life.  At that time, I thought that this blissful feeling would never go away. I thought that I would never experience depression, sadness or suicidal thoughts again… but I soon realized that I was mistaken.  I was graciously given a brief glimpse of being fully Enlightened… but then, like an arrow shot into the heavens, I descended back to Earth. The real work then began; learning how to integrate and fully embody this state of being here on Earth.  This became my purpose, my dharma… my reason for being.

Purpose

After the awakening, exploring and understanding this life journey and the different states of consciousness became my primary interest. Practices such as fasting, yoga, meditation, self inquiry, masterminding, hypnotherapy, channeling, energy work and ceremonial use of plant medicines naturally made their way into my life.  In 2006, I left the US and everything there behind to follow a calling with no known destination.  

Traveling through southeast Asia with my backpack in hand and wanting a way to share the shift in consciousness that I had experienced with others, I asked for guidance. Through many synchronistic events, fasting in a retreat setting would reveal itself as the perfect way to create the space for the awakening of higher consciousness.  The Fasting Path was born.

Teachings

We are living in extraordinary times. The rules of the game are changing fast.  And just like with any game, if you know the rules and have the tools to play accordingly, you can thrive as a natural way of being.  Thanks to the expanding consciousness of humanity, healing no longer has to take years and years of practice or therapy. We are being given access to everything we need right now to let go of the karmic baggage of the past and embody the fully-realized self today!

A teacher will give you how to’s; actions as to how to be. I am not as much interested in what you do as to who you are, your being, your center, your consciousness.  With a shift in consciousness, what you are doing will change naturally.  Small teachings keep you in the illusion of control and separation.  Universal teachings free you from the illusion and set you free.

The great teaching is you are already that which you seek to become.  There is nothing to become, nowhere to go, nothing to attain… only a letting go of everything to the contrary.  Its an unlearning, a deconstruction that will awaken the joy, peace and love that you seek.

The Fasting Path retreats are not for those wanting to just relax and drink some juices. There are plenty of beautiful resorts offering that type of experience. But if you are ready to look at and potentially let go of everything you have been made to believe about who you think you are and what you think is possible, then come share space with us.  You will be held in a safe, beautiful space of love and openness for you to do your inner work.  You will be given all the tools you need to peel away the layers and realize the Divine nature within you right now! 

I wish you all the best, whether our souls cross paths at a future retreat or not.

with so much love,

Brother