The Greatest Advice Ever

Most people want to help others, especially when we feel like we have something of value to offer them.  But , in my opinion, when it comes to giving advice, there is only one piece of advice to give…

When I was in Cambodia a couple of years ago, I had an interesting life experience and lesson.  I was with a trusted, respected and valued friend of mine for a couple of weeks exploring the landscapes of Thailand and Cambodia.  At the time, I was faced with a very challenging decision; a decision that would cause me to alter my plans to travel for a specified number of weeks with my friend if I listened to my inner voice.

I was conflicted big time.  My heart was telling me one thing but my head and my friend were telling me another.  Every time I would sit in silence, I would hear the answer in my heart loud and clear.  “But, following my heart will cause me to hurt my friend, I thought.”  “Following my heart may cause me all kinds of drama and undesirable circumstances. “It would be much easier to listen to my friend & my mind.  Just ignore it, distract yourself, put the decision aside and have a good time.”

“The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself.” - Oscar Wilde

For days I tried.  But the more I ignored it and the more my friend pleaded with me, the louder the voice grew within.  I knew I was being “irrational” or “ridiculous” as my friend was implying.  But it was as if I was being pulled apart at the seams.  I did not want to listen, but it hurt so badly (physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually) that finally I had to.

There I was, resting in my truth.  I was feeling guilty that I was going to have to cut my trip short.  Feeling guilty that the plans I has made with my friend were going to have to be altered. And feeling extremely guilty that I was going to disappoint him.  But in the end, I shared my truth with him and being the Friend that he is said, “I understand.  Do what you have to do.”

This experience taught me so much about the need to learn to listen to our own inner wisdom, no matter how unpopular it is or who it may disappoint.  Now I know for many that may sound selfish or lacking compassion but stay with me.  During this whole decision making process, I was “a mess.”  In my head and my body, I was conflicted.  This internal tug of war caused me to verbalize this stress and drama to my friend every day.  It became a part of our whole experience together.  Not to mention how that energy affected everyone that I came in contact with.  I could not be “The Ambassador of Love” with my body and mind so out of alignment.  It was not fun.  I was discussing it every chance I got, trying to find a way to make peace with it.

My Friend, surely wanting to stop hearing about it and wanting to help me avoid the apparent pain and suffering that he saw as a result of me following my heart, tried to help me see the potential disasters of this decision.  He communicated his perception of the situation ever so convincingly.  It all made “sense.”  And I knew he may be right.  I could experience all kinds of undesirable backlash, but at the end of the day, I knew I had to follow my gut.

“A leader must have the courage to act against an expert’s advice.” - James Callaghan

This is when it hit me how detrimental giving advice can be to the spiritual growth of another.  Many times, because we do not want to see people (especially loved ones) experience the same mistakes that we have made, we give advice.  We do not want or like to see loved ones suffer. This was certainly the case here.  But as we grow, our listening and decision making process moves further away from the mind and the “rational or most logical decision” to one of intuition and inner knowing.  We begin to create with our minds and think with our hearts.

We are limited by our minds.  Limited by our current perception of the world; by what society tells us is “right or wrong.”  In making decisions with the mind, we often make decisions that help us to avoid pain, fear, the unknown and many times, challenges that are essential for our soul’s evolution toward the light. We can think that by avoiding these difficult, heart-felt decisions, that we are avoiding suffering, but we are not.  We usually end up suffering internally because our soul is pulling at us to go one way, but we go another.

Thankfully, our ability to hear the inner voice is increasing, and try as we may to drown it out with all of the noise and distractions of the world, the walls between the heart and mind are thinning.

If you believe that you are here for a reason, then your soul knows exactly what you need in order to fulfill that reason for being.  Your soul or higher self, which speaks to you through your heart (then is processed by your head) is constantly connected to the infinite intelligence.  Imagine if we were taught that our intuition may lead to the road less traveled and that road may not always be the easiest, or look the most appealing, prosperous, popular, “normal” or rational or that by following this universal, inner knowing and walking confidently forward, without the need to know the outcome, that everything we truly desire, of which would bring us true fulfillment, would naturally manifest as a result.

“Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.” - Erica Jong

I love the quote from the poem, “The Invitation,” where Oriah Mountain Dreamer says, “Are you willing to disappoint another to be true to yourself.”  Powerful and although it never feels good to disappoint another, it is in being true to yourself, that enables us to be the embodiment of LOVE in the world.

I knew I could have never lived with myself if I did not follow my heart in that situation.  I never want to look back on something I knew to be true for me and think to myself, I should have never listened to My Friend.  I would rather go back one day and say, “isn’t that interesting, he was right, but I’m still glad I followed my intuition because the experience, as challenging as it was, caused me to grow so much.”  And in the end, he was right.  The decision took me on a very challenging journey and looking back, I would not have decided differently because I absolutely grew so much as a result of it.

We all know our own answers.  We can all tap into this energy if we only allow ourselves to feel it, accept it and release ourselves of the attachment to the outcome.  It takes some practice and until you become confident and proficient with what truth feels like within you, you may change your mind frequently.  But the more you exercise a muscle, the stronger it gets.

Here’s my advice to you:).  The next time someone asks you for advice,(no matter what it is), Empower them!  Tell them… “I can share my experience with you if you’d like, but ultimately only you know what is best for you.”  Then ask them… “What feels right in your heart?” This, in my humble opinion, is the greatest advice ever.

Namaste

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