Recently I had the privilege to speak before 75-100 individuals on the topic of “passion.” Neil Solomon, the owner of Moes in Altamonte Springs, FL and Altamonte Chamber Director had asked me to be a part of this panel over a month ago. I was honored but have to admit, I did not give it much thought until yesterday.
Yesterday, as I spoke with the group of other speakers and Neil about the topic of passion, I shared my awakening to the realization that if we did what we loved, everything else (good) would follow. A great realization indeed, especially since it took me till I was 30 to hear it, but not the message I felt inspired to share to this morning.
I awoke this morning and the word “Passion” ran through my mind. I decided to pull out an old Webster’s dictionary, published in 1946, to see what they said about passion. Passion- n. from the latin, patior which means to bear, to suffer. A strong feeling or emotion by which the mind is swayed, as ambition, joy, hope, grief, avarice, revenge, fear, hatred or love. A strong, deep feeling or excitement of the mind.
Very interesting I thought. Not just happiness, joy, love or hope but the other side of the coin as well. This brought me back to my 20’s in which I suffered endlessly with suicidal depression. Everyday, I would spend so much mental and physical energry trying to “fix” it or make it go away. I could not understand why I felt this way and why I could get rid of it. Doctor after doctor told me that I was “sick.” “Its like being a diabetic. You have a chemical imbalance,” they would say. But for some reason I never believed them. I went on and off the drugs and in and out of therapists offices. Then at the age of 30, I awoke! All at once it all made sense. “I am not broken. I am not sick. My depression is a Gift, not a curse!” Complete acceptance and appreciation of what was brought me to peace. The resistance to it was causing the suffering. (you can read the whole story of my awakening in the soon to be released book, Wake Up Moments)
Passion is feeling and expressing whateveryou are feeling. Not just the “good” stuff, but all of it. We live in a society where we have been taught that it is not OK to feel/express feelings of anger or sadness or feelings that are “irrational.” “Awww, don’t be sad. Don’t cry. Don’t be so irrational.” We think we have to feel happy all the time. This becomes the ultimate goal for everybody in life. We do everything we can to push down and avoid our painful experiences. We eat, watch TV, take drugs, even excessive exercise or work… but it’s all God! If we say yes to this and no to that, we are saying we do not trust in the divine perfection of things.
Our society tells us that if we do not “fit in” that we are broken. If our child can not concentrate and be like the others, then they have a dis-ease (ADD). Suppress it! That if we feel sad often, that we have depression. Fix it! What if your child was encouraged to embrace that gift? What if you were given permission to feel sad as much as you wanted and just believed that it was just as valuable and purposeful than happiness?
The Buddhist believe that all human suffering comes from the attachment to the way we think things should be. I was healed through the acceptance of my depression. Once I stopped resisting it and trying to hide it and from it, it had no where else to go. I learned to just be with it, feel it and trust in the perfection of it and it dissolved. I know it was all perfect because without it, I would never be sharing with you right now. How could one comfort another with a broken heart if theirs was never broken? Empathize with an abused wife, if they had never been abused. Feel compassion for someone who lost a loved one, if you had never lost yours. As painful as these experiences are, they are our gifts. Do not run from them. Embrace them with passion and invite the healing presence of the love into your heart. Your life will be blessed with more ease and less dis-ease.
Namaste.